A late 2022 Bills Mafia Christmas list

We’ve been good this year, and we’re leaving cookies for Santa!

Dear Santa,

We’ve been really good this year. We’ve donated money to the charity of the quarterback of a divisional rival. We’ve taken care of one of our own when tragedy struck and gave money to the P.U.N.T. Foundation. We’ve shown up to terrible weather games and games moved at the last minute to Detroit. We’ve (mostly) kept our optimism through a rash of injuries to meaningful and beloved players.

I think it’s time you held up your end of the bargain.

We, Bills Mafia, would like to outline our 2022 Christmas wish list. I think you will find it to be reasonable. I know it’s a little late, but you’re magic and to be fair, we didn’t really have it all the way done until recently.

Without further ado:

1. Stable or improved health for the rest of the Buffalo Bills

I know we got off to a rocky start with the whole “Von Miller ACL” thing. But I’m hoping you can keep the rest of our players from sustaining any injuries and if it’s possible, seeing Micah Hyde back in center field would do wonders for us this year. We worry about Mitch Morse and we were hoping you might be able to help him recover. Also, if you happened to have a few more minutes, you could sprinkle a little pixie dust on Josh Allen’s right elbow.

2. An improved pass rush

As I mentioned, the Von Miller loss kind of sucked. I’m not even gonna lie. But you know how responsible we were in planning. We drafted a bunch of edge rushers at the top of the draft. We did our part. If Rousseau and Basham and Epenesa just so happened to take a massive leap forward in their development and Shaq Lawson could continue to be a technically sound player, we wouldn’t hate it.

3. Kaiir Elam on the field

We like him. We think he could be pretty good. It’d be good if he played more.

4. Ike Boettger to be an offensive line savior

We’re not sure how long Mitch will be out and we don’t know how literally you’ll take point No. 1 on our list, but we like Ike. A depth OL coming back and changing the entire effectiveness of an offensive line doesn’t seem all that reasonable, but Christmas is a time for miracles, right?

5. A Beasley resurgence

Josh Allen needs some help. What’s more Christmas-like than someone coming home and rediscovering the person they used to be? I’m pretty sure Hallmark has made a lot of money off this concept and you don’t want them showing you up, do you?

6. Peace on earth and goodwill towards men

Just kidding; we want a championship.

…and that’s the way the cookie crumbles. I’m Bruce Nolan with Buffalo Rumblings. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram @BruceExclusive and look for new episodes of “The Bruce Exclusive” every Thursday on the Buffalo Rumblings podcast network!