Can’t fail, won’t fail picks for week 2

The Texans are on, but so are other games. Here’s a handy betting guide if your eye ever starts to wander.

Week 2 starts tomorrow with your Houston Texans occupying their usual noon (ahem, 10 am in Durga’s country, thank you) time slot for their divisional matchup against the Indianapolis Colts. And if you’re like me, you find yourself surrounded by football for hours at a time while you’re watching the Texans.

You know as well as I do that your eye will wander to other TVs in quiet times like during commercial breaks or the halftime show or whenever the Texans go on offense, just to see what’s going on with other games.

Nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly natural for a growing individual like yourself.

So for those quiet moments, I have provided this week’s picks for your gambling edification.

Should you take your gambling advice from me? Well look at this record that speaks for itself.

[CLASSIFIED FOR TRIAL]

See? That’s a W/L record you can count on.

But this isn’t about me, this is about you and winning money.

Here’s how you do it this week, brought to you by DraftKings Sportsbook.

For entertainment purposes only, please do not take financial advice from a football blog.