DC Team Gets a New Name, We Get New Jokes

Greetings again, Ravens fans. I’m filling in for Rich today, as he is lucky enough to be down at the Senior Bowl checking things out. Hopefully he’ll gather some tidbits for hungry flock mouths while he’s there. In the meantime, let’s see what’s shakin’ around the Castle and the NFL in general.

Our first stop takes us a few exits south on I-95. If you’re anything like me, you were raised to despise that burgundy and gold team that used to go by “Redskins,” and which we football-starved Baltimorons were encouraged to adopt as our own during the time between the Mayflower vans and our savior, Art Modell. I was in fourth grade at Riviera Beach Elementary School when the ‘Skins last won the Super Bowl. As luck would have it, the most obnoxious burgundy-donning teacher in the school, Mrs. Bowman, was my teacher that year. She never shut up about her “ReyudSkiyuns” (and why not? good for her!), which further cemented my already inherited feelings of hate. I’ve enjoyed watching Daniel Snyder steer them into obscurity since taking over, to put it mildly.

After playing a couple seasons as the surprisingly easy-on-the-ear Washington Football Team, the franchise finally chose a new nickname. And friends, the internet has jokes.

Introducing, the Washington Commanders.

The future of Washington football is here #TakeCommand pic.twitter.com/MwkCLTkVAA

— Washington Commanders (@Commanders) February 2, 2022

Ok, sure. But, um…

let’s not focus on whether the Washington Commanders is a good name but instead focus on the fact a red and yellow team located in Washington DC named itself something that can be shortened to Commies

focus on the hilarious aspect of NO ONE realizing this over 2 years pic.twitter.com/b1b5pCcYiC

— Tyler Conway (@jtylerconway) February 2, 2022

Oh my god. In two years, not one person in the decision-making process realized this? That the squad is now the Washington Commies? Unbelievable.

COMMIE NATION STAND UP https://t.co/U8XocLvoXu pic.twitter.com/o7B6cyvMK8

— PFT Commander (@PFTCommenter) February 2, 2022

Also remarkable? The incredible attention to detail!

Among the many strange things about the Washington football team, this new patch.

The franchise claims the actual year it won the Super Bowl (1983, 1988, 1992) and not the NFL season (1982, 1987, 1991).

Do we say the 2002 Patriots won the Super Bowl? Of course not. pic.twitter.com/d9ohxf1PRo

— Ben Volin (@BenVolin) February 2, 2022

I, for one, regularly reference the Baltimore Ravens’ 2001 and 2013 Super Bowl Champion squads!

As if the team itself wasn’t bad enough, we have fans out there doing things like this…

The L’s have already begun:
pic.twitter.com/Q1YcFgd0EJ

— EROCK (@EROCK_Eagles) February 2, 2022

Big, BIG Michael Scott vibes. Bum da dum dum bumbumbum.

In other NFL news, Tom Brady condensed his Brett Favre impression to just a few days, which is nice, announcing his retirement on his Instagram after about half a week of will-he/won’t-he speculation.

He also shouted out Baltimore’s quarterback in his farewell.

On the day he officially retired, Tom Brady had a message for Lamar Jackson on IG pic.twitter.com/OaA6Qj3Ky3

— Jamison Hensley (@jamisonhensley) February 2, 2022

Really, Tom? “Your next?” You just had to annoy me one last time on “you’re” way out, huh?

The biggest NFL news, however, isn’t the Goat retiring, amazingly enough. It’s that former Miami Dolphins head coach Brian Flores is suing the league, alleging racist practices in hiring and treatment of coaches. Flores says that Miami owner Stephen Ross offered him extra money to lose games, and tried to get him to illegally tamper with players, all supposedly to give Ross cover for letting him go. If Flores can prove these allegations, this just became quite the offseason story.

Brian Flores was allegedly offered $100k for every loss in 2019…

He thinks that was the reason he was eventually let go pic.twitter.com/XStiJAKAGw

— PFF (@PFF) February 2, 2022

The NFL, of course, is already circling the wagons around Ross. They’ll look all the more foolish if Flores has hard evidence.

We’ll finish with one final bit of (maybe uh…related?) news on the home team. Tee Martin will, for now, be staying put.

Ravens WRs coach Tee Martin had interviewed for this job https://t.co/4XqlycYZ6K

— Jeff Zrebiec (@jeffzrebiec) February 1, 2022

Ken Dorsey got the nod over Martin for the Buffalo OC job. With John Harbaugh saying that the “plan” is for Greg Roman to stay aboard as offensive coordinator, many Ravens fans are still holding out hope that Martin could replace him in the coming days or weeks. It seems unlikely to me, but we’ll certainly be listening.

Have a great Hump Day, Flock friends!

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