Hair of the Dog: Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans

The biggest home the Texans have had this decade…so far. Perhaps the next ones won’t be handicap matchups?

As is the case for the Texans, another game came down to the final minute of the game. Since the 30-6 pounding of the Pittsburgh Steelers, every single game since (7 total) have seen the Texans facing a one score situation, either trailing or holding the lead, when the game moves under 2 minutes. For the first time in 6 games, Houston actually trailed at the 2-minute warning. Yet, the Houston Strouds, er, Texans, once again increased the drama and cause that many more heart-attacks. They faced a 58-yard FG, and somehow, a kicker who missed a 48 and 50 yarder in the last two weeks by being off-target was dead-center for a 58-yarder…the longest ATTEMPT in Ammendola’s career. Yet, the Stroud magic did not carry the day. The most painful center-of-the-crossbar doink in Texans’ history ended hopes of claiming the division lead. Jacksonville escaped with a two-game division lead.

Yet, this game maybe should have never gotten to this point. For Houston, their respective lines, offensive and defense, were dominated by Jacksonville. Stroud was moving around, mostly for his life. Also, Houston will not be sending the refs any Christmas cards or contributions to their retirement funds. See the penalty (alleged penalty) that wiped out a 60-yard+ pass to Tank Dell in the 1st quarter, and the three Third-down conversions the refs made against the Houston defense in third quarter. Yet, Jacksonville almost blew this game. The questionable play call at the end of the 1st half and the 4th quarter missed long FG when a punt probably was more warranted. [KITTEN], the Jags could make a claim the refs screwed them on the Stingely INT. Still, high drama against two teams in a playoff-type atmosphere…not many in Houston would have pictured this soon in the Texans’ rebuild.

As always, your Battle Red Blog Masthead had their real-time takes on the game. Given the high drama, and the low opinion of the official calls, there was a lot of, er, not nice language said. Thus, we have edited that out for a more traditional, professional standard for the office.

(NOTE: Apologies for the delay in getting this out. While upset with the game result and the refs, there were technical difficulties outside of the field that delayed this publication).

With that, on to the ‘Dog:

HAIR OF THE DOG: VOLUME 21, ISSUE 12; JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS @ HOUSTON TEXANS (aka a key divisional matchup that is actually about playoff positioning and not draft picks)

vballretired

This ultimate battlefight is brought to you by #Bartesian. Drink up boys and girls. This is going to be doozy. Please be safe out there Texans fans.

Kenneth L.

Hello boys

Big game today

I will be there

Patrick

I’m staying home for this one.

vballretired

I don’t get a little chuckle for my omage to battlefight?

Patrick

Hey, I chuckled.

Patrick

Does anyone want a slightly used, ugly-[KITTEN] three pound dog who can’t stop peeing all over the floor? Will accept any offer.

Joe

hey everyone!

vballretired

I’ve got a 100 pound one. I don’t see that going well

Joe

My heart is POUNDING

this has to be the biggest divisional game in several years

Patrick

And away we go

FIRST QUARTER

TEXANS POSSESSION

Patrick

Off to a nice start there.

Joe

Here we go!

Oh yeah haha

Tank Dell time already?

Patrick

Early and often as far as I’m concerned.

Joe

Look at those battle red uniforms!

Highlighter red

The battle red blog colors more like

They better win in these

Patrick

Delay of game? I hope that was intentional.

Joe

Hahaha

JAGS POSSESSION

vballretired

Running game may be nonexistent today boys

Patrick

Guess we’ll have to get our yards through the air again.

Joe

Looking for a good game from Rankins and Cashman again

Or will Anderson, this was the opponent he had the blocked fg

Patrick

Not what I want to see right now, the Jags doing anything.

Joe

dangit!

Good play by stingley but zay jones just did a great job keeping the ball away

Patrick

Wow, you are way ahead of me. I guess Fubo has a bit of a delay to it.

Joe

Good plays against the run so far, though

Wow, really! I’m used to being the one 15-30 seconds behind haha

Patrick

And I’m even in Houston right now.

Joe

No!!!!

[DURGA]

Patrick

[KIIIITTTTTEEEEENNNNNN].

Joe

Alright I’ve seen enough of good Trevor Lawrence

Kenneth L.

Lawrence looks really good

Joe

FINALLY

Kenneth L.

The guy next to me is yelling “sunshine”

vballretired

That’s better

Patrick

At last, a stop!

vballretired

3-0 Jags

Patrick

Okay, I need to know why he’s yelling sunshine.

JAGS FIELD GOAL. JAGS LEAD 3-0

TEXANS POSSESSION

vballretired

Remember the Titans

Patrick

Anathema!

Joe

I’ll take a field goal after that drive

Is will Levis any good?

Patrick

Maybe?

vballretired

At creative coffee recipes

Patrick

He’s looked kind of up and down from what little I could check.

That’s coming back.

vballretired

Can we just not run the ball?

Maybe give that a try?

Kenneth L.

Early on Jags look bigger and faster

vballretired

That holding call blew up that drive

Patrick

Oh man that would’ve been an amazing catch.

vballretired

Stop running the [KITTEN] ball.

JAGS POSSESSION

Patrick

Who the [KITTEN] let Zack Snyder out of movie jail?

Will Anderson, for all y’all haters out there.

Jags’ left tackle is hurt.

C’mon get a stop here.

That’ll do.

vballretired

Good series from the defense

Patrick

CHUM

Stroud [KITTEN] near got that one on his legs alone.

Joe

Hahahaha

vballretired

Barely

Joe

DPUM returns!

Kenneth L.

Their pass rush is absurd

vballretired

Stop running the ball

Joe

AAAAAAAA

vballretired

Tank Dell is a man

Kenneth L.

Tytus looks hurt

vballretired

Flag

Patrick

Stroud to [KITTEN]in’ Dell y’all.

Oh [KITTEN] you.

Joe

Oh my goodness!

Kenneth L.

Flag

Joe

Worst penalty ever

Illegal shift my [KITTEN]

Kenneth L.

This will be a surrender play

vballretired

Illegal shift. One of those bull[KITTEN] rules

Patrick

Oh great, penalty kills the play and we lose Tytus again? This game sucks.

Joe

Every Houston game has a few of these trauma downs where everything seems to go wrong spectacularly

vballretired

Scruggs has entered the building

END FIRST QUARTER JAGS 3 – TEXANS 0

vballretired

You can cancel the milk cartons

Patrick

Scruggs, today you become a man.

Joe

Juice Scruggs is in!

Patrick

Yeah that LT for the Jags ain’t coming back today.

Joe

Let’s go PSU

vballretired

At least you get some field position back

Patrick

GO FOR IT YOU COWARDS!

(No, don’t I’m kidding, please don’t go for it here)

Joe

Tytus Howard getting carted off

Oh man

Patrick

Tytus getting carted into the locker room. We’re not seeing him for a while I’m thinking.

vballretired

You are playing a real run defense this week boys. Their pass rush is good. Go to quick passing game. Do not run the ball until we say it’s okay.

vballretired

At least not today

Well that sucked

Joe

Oh [DURGA]

I’m gonna be sick

Patrick

Woof.

Great job by Harris catching up to him though.

vballretired

MOAR flags

Another stupid [KITTEN]ing shift. At least it’s on the Jags.

Patrick

Hey, at least they called that bull[KITTEN] penalty on Jacksonville too.

vballretired

Another [KITTEN] flag

Patrick

Oh F[K]S, what now?!

Joe

WOOOOOO

Patrick

OH [KITTEN] YOU!

Joe

Oh no

vballretired

Touchdown Trevor Lawrence

That was a bull[KITTEN] PI penalty

Patrick

I am displeased…

JAGS TD, TECHNICALLY. JAGS 3 – TEXANS 0 – REFS 7

TEXANS POSSESSION

Joe

That was a ridiculous penalty

Okay penalty drive whatever

I’d love to see a response to cj stroud either way

vballretired

I think the competition committee needs to look at the rule book and throw out like a third of it. The shift penalty impacts nothing. Excessive celebrations are fun and shouldn’t be flagged. I could go on and on.

Don’t run the ball.

Patrick

Tytus Howard with a knee injury, questionable to return.

Yep, definitely done for the day at minimum.

vballretired

Nice throw there

Patrick

So is that a flag too you [KITTEN]ing numbskulls?

Joe

Nice throw and catch by Robert woods!

Patrick

It’s a Texans completion so clearly something has to be flagged.

Joe

Who’s in Howard’s place, now?

vballretired

Scruggs

Patrick

Scruggs, I thought?

vballretired

Dieter still center

Joe

Ohhh I see

vballretired

Singletary!,!!!!!!!!

Patrick

That’s more like it!

Joe

Let’s go Singletary!

vballretired

Don’t run the ball

We didn’t say you could do that yet

Tank Dell

Patrick

If nobody’s got me, I know Tank’s got me.

Joe

Hahaha

vballretired

That’s just next level from Stroud

Joe

What a pass!

vballretired

Ok, that’s feels better

Joe

Stroud for MVP

I’m ready for it

And in these red uniforms

It’s just too good!

STROUD TO DELL FOR A 7-YARD TD. JAGS LEAD 10-7

vballretired

Efense Efense

Patrick

Yuck.

Don’t let that happen again.

vballretired

Now that was a tackle

That’s Will Anderson ladies and gentleman

Ok, run defense is stout

Joe

Sack him!!!!

vballretired

Timeout

No whammies no whammies no whammies

Joe

That was close!

vballretired

Ok 13-7 Jags

JAGS FIELD GOAL, JAGS LEAD 13-7

TEXANS POSSESSION

Joe

Oh my goodness Dameon Pierce!!!

He’s one of them slippy guys

vballretired

Pierce is still good but I didn’t say we could start running it yet

Patrick

I need to know who demanded a second Good Burger movie and, more importantly, how big a truck of money did they back up to Kenan Mitchell’s house.

TWO MINUTE WARNING

vballretired

Movie or series?

Patrick

Movie.

vballretired

I completely missed whatever was here the first go around

l4blitzer

It would be nice if we could spend more time in the Jags part of the field. Way too much time spend on our side in this game .

vballretired

Ryans needs to go back to the drawing board on the Jags passing game

Patrick

Adjustments will doubtless be made.

vballretired

Ok, that works

Joe

Love those giant jj watt and Andre Johnson bobble heads, definitely not terrifying or hilarious

vballretired

You assume. In past years that’d be a no

Patrick

In past years we didn’t have DeMeco Ryans in charge.

Joe

DELL ACROBAT CATCH

vballretired

Tank Dell is a man

Patrick

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

vballretired

That’s an unproductive scramble and catch

Joe

And he can run!!!

l4blitzer

Bryce Young just ran a lot of yards for an incompletion

vballretired

He can and he will

Patrick

Okay, only Stroud can run today.

Joe

Cj stroud secret dual threat ability

vballretired

That was unproductive

l4blitzer

Running the ball…with Ryan Day at Ohio State? Nope…not part of the plan

vballretired

Ok, the pass rush is having an effect

Patrick

The pass rush has Stroud and the OL on rollerskates right now.

vballretired

Timeout

l4blitzer

Nice…if the refs don’t screw it up

vballretired

Hold on

l4blitzer

Looks like the toe tapped the white first…ah well

vballretired

It looks incomplete

Patrick

Probably not enough to overturn.

l4blitzer

Quick, what’s the Venmo for the refs?

Joe

Darn

First miraculous catch not to go Dell’s way

Joe

Agreed

Patrick

Second, remember the illegal shift earlier?

vballretired

At the half it’s still a competitive game. Stroud has looked really good under constant pressure but the running game has turned back into a pumpkin. Defensively they need more pressure on Lawrence. They are just in too much rhythm in their passing game. This game is easily winnable. Oh, and Tank Dell is a man.

AMMENDOLA MISSES THE FG, JAGS LEAD 13-7

Joe

Jeez

Man are we missing Ka’imi Fairbairn

vballretired

His agent is pleased

l4blitzer

Too bad Ogunbowale doesn’t have a little more lift on his leg at this point.

vballretired

No whammies no whammies no whammies

Joe

Oh man the glitter kitties are gonna get a few shots!

vballretired

MOAR flags

l4blitzer

Say “Thank you, Gitter Kitties” kids…

vballretired

George Fant committing penalties for the other team

[KITTEN] he’s good

l4blitzer

Sheesh…that is not good 2 min defense

vballretired

I mean committing penalties from the bench is next level

Oh [KITTEN] me

Patrick

Oh [KITTEN] me sideways.

l4blitzer

Kirk vs. Thomas…yeah, gonna favor Kirk on that matchup

Kenneth L.

Hahahahahahahah

Joe

What just happened????

Patrick

Oh no.

Kenneth L.

UNBELIEVABLY BAD PLAY CALL

Joe

What even happened

vballretired

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patrick

I’ll be [KITTEN]ed.

Joe

LETS GOOOO

Patrick

I will be [KITTEN]ed. Amazing stop defense.

Blake Cashman again.

Joe

hahahaha what in the world

Blake cashman for mvp

l4blitzer

Probably shoulda called the Philly Special, Pederson

HALFTIME

JAGS LEAD 13-7, WILL RECEIVE SECOND HALF KICKOFF

HALFTIME REACTIONS

Joe

Another great game from Stroud, his ability to evade a messy pocket and his speed are really paying dividends this game, but I’m encouraged by how Singletary and Pierce have looked so far. Really not happy with how Trevor Lawrence is looking so far, hope to see better games from the linebackers and cornerbacks in the second half.

vballretired

That was next level stupid. Did Pep Hamilton make that call?

At the half it’s still a competitive game. Stroud has looked really good under constant pressure but the running game has turned back into a pumpkin. Defensively they need more pressure on Lawrence. They are just in too much rhythm in their passing game. This game is easily winnable. Oh, and Tank Dell is a man.

Patrick

If you can come up with a reaction that isn’t just swearing obscenities at the refs, have at it. Seeing as I can’t right now…

Kenneth L.

lol

That was as bad as this halftime performance. Just drum lines?? Boo

For how poor the offensive line looked, we are still in this game

vballretired

No little dribbling kids?

Patrick

Unless they’re the drumlines for Grambling State or Southern, I’m pretty sure nobody cares about drumlines.

l4blitzer

In so many ways, Jacksonville has dominated this game. They are keeping the ball on the Texans’ side of the field for most of the game. They have the Texans pass defense on its heels and the Texans’ Offensive line having major issues holding off the Glitter Kitty pass rush. Throw in the refs wanting to make their presence known (Illegal Shift, really?), and perhaps it is a good thing that Houston is only down 6. It probably isn’t helping that the Texans’ special teams, that were so on in the game at Jax are not having a great day (giving up some major punt return yardage, missing a FG at the end of the half).

Patrick

Because those two are genuinely fun to watch.

vballretired

The fact that we can expect second half adjustments is a huge upgrade. Could you imagine Culley in this scenario?

l4blitzer

“MOAR quick kicks”…David Culley…we think

Patrick

The hardest part of this game is I’m watching literally at home with my mom asleep on the couch next to me. So I can’t swear, I can’t cheer loud, and, worst of all, I can’t drink.

vballretired

Bartesian has some drinks that look innocent

l4blitzer

Don’t know what the over/under is for PIT/CIN, but maybe take the under on that one.

vballretired

Maybe a good Culley speech would get them fired up and confused

Patrick

The line for the Bengals game was 35.5, for the record.

l4blitzer

With 10 total points at the half…the under is about as safe as the under is for an Iowa game

vballretired

I think I saw them wearing tee shirts at that game that said “Punt”

l4blitzer

You did. They kept showing those guys on every punt…and there were a lot of punts. MVPs of that game.

vballretired

That didn’t go well for the Jags.

THIRD QUARTER

JAGS POSSESSION

Patrick

Okay we get it KHOU, you’re in a pissing match with satellite providers.

vballretired

Intended for Bill Sideline

l4blitzer

Hmmm…I think that Frank Ross ripped his coverage units a new one…works for me.

Patrick

Chuck Sideline

vballretired

That was Felipe Whoopsie the intended receiver

[KITTEN]

Expletive deleted

Patrick

And it was Stingley that got burned.

vballretired

Another flag

l4blitzer

Ah, the official penalty for this game…illegal motion/formation

Patrick

Hey, how about that, the refs DO penalize other teams.

vballretired

Illegal formation….another of those rules that are meaningless

Gosh darn it to heck

Patrick

I don’t like this.

l4blitzer

Jags really moving ahead on TOP

Joe

Calvin Ridley just tearing up Steven Nelson

It feels like turnover time

l4blitzer

Well…about that…

vballretired

Ask and you shall receive

Patrick

STINGLEY!!!

Joe, name six number between 1 and 54 right now.

vballretired

He loves playing Jacksonville

Joe

LETS GOOOO

STINGLEY PICKS OFF TREVOR LAWRENCE. TEXANS BALL

Joe

2 7 11 17 25 32

LETS GO DEREK STINGLEY

hahahaha

vballretired

Play em Patrick

Joe

I couldn’t have timed that message any better

l4blitzer

Oh my goodness, we gotta offensive explosion in New Jersey. Giants and Jets tied at 7

Patrick

If y’all will excuse me, I have a date with a lottery ticket.

Joe

I think I gotta run to get some scratch offs real quick

Hahaha

vballretired

Learn to say it in French. Wi, and it counts.

Ok, keep gaining yards

Joe

Alright well that’s probably used up all my prediction power for the day

l4blitzer

Wait, there’s movement…forward, by the Texans offense.

vballretired

Ok, keep gaining yards

Joe

But in case it didn’t a predict a cj stroud touchdown…and mvp award…and Super Bowl victory…..

Patrick

[KITTEN] of a time to use it at least.

vballretired

Nico!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe

Yeah thank goodness the Texans needed that

l4blitzer

Ah, glad to see that Nico remembers that he balls well at home

Patrick

Welcome to the game Nico Collins.

Joe

NICOOOOO

vballretired

[KITTEN]

Nico needs two more catches to meet my over prediction

l4blitzer

Ah, we have a running game sighting

vballretired

Okay, I will allow that running play

l4blitzer

Tunsil as an eligible receiver…oh that would be fun

Patrick

Missed that last play trying to explain to my mom what the Southern Ocean is.

Joe

DEVIN SINGLETARY!!!!

vballretired

That one not so much

Joe

Can’t have two good runs in a row

vballretired

An ocean that was made up because they removed a planet

l4blitzer

Our best running threat does it again.

vballretired

C.J. Stroud ladies and gentlemen

STROUD RUNS IT IN FOR A ONE YARD TOUCHDOWN! TEXANS LEAD 14-13

l4blitzer

I love that leap by Beck (I think it was Beck) to fake out the Jags

Joe

WOOOOOO

Cj stroud dual threat

vballretired

Ok, maybe that missed flag balances out the bull stuff shift penalty

Patrick

I don’t need Matt Ammendola giving me anxiety on top of the rest of the team.

l4blitzer

Massive point swing here. Jags could have/should have put up 10-14 points between the end of the half and the 1st drive of the 2nd, but instead, they are down 14-13

vballretired

He will be cut as soon as the Hawaiian is back

Meanwhile, every Stingley pick makes Nick Caserio breathe a little easier

JAGS POSSESSION

l4blitzer

There is an argument that if Sauce Gardner was here, he probably wouldn’t be All-Pro

Uh, that was not needed, Houston

vballretired

Durga what was that?

Patrick

Ughhhhhhhhhhh

Joe

That wasn’t good

Steven Nelson is having one of those days

vballretired

Momma said there’d be days like this

Patrick

(momma said momma said)

vballretired

Oh jump on a spilke

Patrick

Oh bull[KITTEN] mother[KITTEN]er.

Dog[KITTEN] potato cracker mother[KITTEN] dip[KITTEN] referees.

Joe

Whoooooo!!! Oh no the flag

Oh you have to be kidding me

vballretired

Ok, control the running game

Joe

Eat my sloppy trash [KITTEN] referee

vballretired

Where’s the flag

Joe

Let’s go defense!

Kenneth L.

Two. Awful calls

Joe

NOT ANOTHER FLAG

Kenneth L.

GREAT DEFENSE

l4blitzer

Leading passer on this drive…the officials with two critical third down conversions for the Jags

vballretired

Just give them the [KITTEN]ing touchdown refs. Stop this foreplay [KITTEN]. Just ram it in there.

Patrick

I hope these refs gets disemboweled with a wooden cooking spoon.

Joe

[DURGA] good [DURGA] this stinking sloppy foul refs

EAT MY [KITTEN]

vballretired

Probably should mute mine.

Kenneth L.

Booo

Joe

I’m gonna freak out

l4blitzer

Refs on the lookout for another 3rd down

vballretired

Where’s the flag?

Patrick

Don’t give ‘em ideas, shut up.

Kenneth L.

Can confirm Calvin Ridley is good

l4blitzer

Thomas with perhaps the worst series of his professional Iife

vballretired

Ok, my first prop bet pays off

Patrick

[DURGA] [KITTEN]ing [KITTEN], this defense.

vballretired

Son of a motherless goat

Joe

The blasphemy drive

The football [DURGA]s will pay you for that drive, Jacksonville

They needed what like 10 plays inside the 5 to get in the end zone?

Patrick

Now I’m not saying that the refs’ moms are all dirty whores who never loved them as children, but I’m not NOT saying that.

l4blitzer

Ooof…our man-to-man coverage should not be shown to anyone under 18 trying to learn about football…and the refs should probably find another line of work.

vballretired

Their mothers are drug addicts in the oldest Profession

Joe

They’re just a little stinky idk

Just stinky guys that don’t want the Texans to become the greatest story ever told

l4blitzer

Did the scriptwriters already get tired of the Texans’ feel good story? Did they want to see more of the Jags mascot in the Speedo?

vballretired

They feel like it’s evening out the cosmic odds

Kenneth L.

Stroud is limping

Patrick

Not funny.

vballretired

Ok, I think I’ve reached the over on Collins too

Kenneth L.

What just happened??

Scruggs needs to get fired

We can’t draft lineman

l4blitzer

Ouch…not the response the team needed

Joe

Nico Collins is so good at the 30-yard reception

Patrick

No. NO. NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

vballretired

Well [KITTEN] that sucked

JAGS POSSESSION

l4blitzer

The defense really needs to try to hold the Jags scoreless for once…especially if they can’t muster a turnover

vballretired

Need actual pressure on the quarterback

Joe

NOOOO

Shoot!

Patrick

What?!

Joe

Now I’m worried

I’m behind again so I just saw the stroud sack

Patrick

Ahh

vballretired

They are moving it at will

Just not on running plays

If I were the Jacktown OC I’d sack the running game but I’m not so….

Another mother[KITTEN]ing flag

l4blitzer

Oh gee, what a shock…the refs with another clutch 3rd down conversion

Joe

This better not be against the Texans

vballretired

It is

l4blitzer

I think the refs have converted 3 of the last 4 Jags 3rd downs

Joe

Hahahahaha

vballretired

Wow

Kenneth L.

Can yall hear the booing from the fans?

vballretired

Just cancel the rest of the game

Kenneth L.

Hahababab

Patrick

Ladies and gentlemen, if you have any issues with the refereeing, please bring it up to referee Clay Martin and @nflofficiating

vballretired

Oh I think I could step aside and hear it

l4blitzer

Ya know, all of the studies about home field advantage show that it is supposed to help the home team with official calls. Did they officials not get the message, or did Khan offer some “performance bonuses”?

Kenneth L.

The energy in this stadium is giving “I want to bite a head off”

vballretired

Ozzy Osborne has entered the chat

l4blitzer

Granted, the defense is putting themselves in position to have the refs turn the game, but still…it is not helping

At this point, the refs have spurred the Jags to an offensive rhythm

Joe

I like seeing angry demeco Ryans

l4blitzer

I’ll pay good money if Ryans power bombs the referee

vballretired

Durga it’s on them

l4blitzer

Make up call

vballretired

Larry Tate office linebacker enters the chat

Kenneth L.

This game is weird

l4blitzer

PIT/CIN game still well under for the over/under

vballretired

Third down….its flag time gentlemen

l4blitzer

Refs looking to go 4 out of 5 on 3rd down

Joe

Oh no not Blake cashman

vballretired

Cashman down

l4blitzer

Because our defense is so loaded with playmakers right now…

Joe

SACK HIMMMM

vballretired

They are going for it

They got it

Another flag

l4blitzer

Wait…did the refs…did the refs actually call something in our favor?

Joe

NOOOO

holding on them!!!

vballretired

Against the Jags

Kenneth L.

10 point lead for them

Need to score

vballretired

Illegal formation. Another stupid rule

Joe

Woooooo!!!!

I’ll take it!!!

l4blitzer

Guess Jacksonville’s special teams took to heart how bad they played last time, for they are doing a LOT better today

vballretired

24-14

MCMANUS WITH THE 53 YARD FG: JACKSONVILLE 24 – HOUSTON 14; 11:20, 4th

Joe

Alright now we’re entering desperation territory

vballretired

Just score a touchdown

Joe

Thankfully we have cj stroud, so I like our chances, but this offensive line is not having a good day

Juice Scruggs is unfortunately not saving us so far

l4blitzer

This would be a script flip…where the defense actually does NOT hold the lead at the 2 minute mark in the 4th

vballretired

Realistically he’s having a good day but 16 on 11 is hard to overcome

Joe

Come on, CJ Stroud! I believe in you!!!

vballretired

Ok, that’s a good start

Ok, I’m liking this

Joe

They should just do tank Dell and Xavier Hutchinson jet sweeps in opposite direction the whole way down the field

vballretired

Go for it

Patrick

The [KITTEN] was that?

Joe

I don’t understand that 3rd down play

I think they almost gotta go for it

vballretired

An uncalled PI

Joe

You’re low on time

Kenneth L.

Offense has no momentum

Joe

Why wouldnt you just get the first down on a qb sneak???

vballretired

That was a stupid series of plays

l4blitzer

Ah….just missed, but I don’t blame Houston. Time is getting short and there is no faith in the defense right now

Patrick

Sigh…

Joe

NOOOOO

vballretired

I think that’s the ballgame

Joe

What were those two plays!

Why would you do that???

Patrick

Slowik? Can we talk?

vballretired

Kenneth L.

That may be game right there tbh

Joe

I mean the jags defense has been controlling the line of scrimmage for most of the game, but like, why not just try a normal run play on 3rd and 1??? Why these two passes?

Patrick

vballretired

They just couldn’t get off the field.

l4blitzer

Wonder if that was more Stroud looking for the big play? I mean it is what it is, but would be curious to see the thought process from Stroud and Slowik on that sequence

vballretired

Even if you scored there the zebras would make sure the Jags won

Joe

He didn’t seem to be wrong on the 4th down play cuz Schultz seemed open, but it wasn’t a great pass

vballretired

Where’s the flag dip[KITTEN]?

Kenneth L.

If this Jags kicker makes this he is the player of the game

Joe

The Texans won last week by making big plays on 3rd and 4th downs on defense, and this week it looks like they’re going to lose that way

It’s not over yet, especially if they force a field goal, but they’ve been struggling on the big downs

Well here we go!

Patrick

This feels like the game here.

l4blitzer

Would almost punt if Jax…let the D hold them, as they have done a great job to this point

vballretired

Where’s the flag. We got illegal tripping on the 30 yard line. Automatic touchdown.

Joe

HE MISSED IT

he missed it!!!!

Even toro is red!

LETS GOOOO

l4blitzer

Still alive…he actually missed a 55 yarder

JAGS MISS FIELD GOAL. TEXANS STILL DOWN 24-14. TEXANS POSSESSION

vballretired

All three misses for him have been against us

Patrick

Stroud keeps looking for the hero ball.

Kenneth L.

We need quicker routes

Patrick that’s a good way to put it

Joe

WOOOOOOO

HUTCHINSONNNN

wow!

vballretired

Yeah. Although that works

Patrick

Hero ball.

Joe

Yeah he’s like trying to save the day out there you’re right Patrick

vballretired

Ok. Let’s get back on schedule

Joe

It’s time for snap decisions

Kenneth L.

GAME ON BABY

vballretired

Ok

Kenneth L.

Let’s goooo

l4blitzer

Hey, Nico remembers he likes the NRG End Zone

vballretired

Touchdown Collins!!!!!!!!

Joe

LETS GOOOOOO

NICO LETS GO BOWLING

Patrick

I AIN’T HEARD NO FAT LADY!

Joe

3 touchdowns for stroud today so far

l4blitzer

How crazy does those last 30 seconds from the 1st half seem now? It should either be tied, or Jacksonville would still be up a comfortable 10.

vballretired

Rescind the premature call

Still, our defense still needs a stop

STROUD TO COLLINS FOR A 17 YARD TD. JAGS LEAD 24-21

JAGS POSSESSION

vballretired

Overall good game on offense and for Stroud but that third and fourth down sequence looms large

Joe

Uh oh

Man Khalil Davis is so close to blowing up these plays!

vballretired

Like I said. We actually need a stop

Patrick

[KITTEN].

Joe

BIG PLAY BY NELSON

Patrick

Oh [DURGA], I’ve seen the future. Fourth quarter comeback coming up.

Kenneth L.

HOUSE IS ROCKING

Joe

WOOOOO

vballretired

Nelson!!!!!!!!

Joe

house causing a timeout!!!!

When’s the last time that happened

l4blitzer

Guess we forgot to put the update before the game that those with weak cardiovascular systems should not watch at this point

Patrick

They just got 12th Man’d.

vballretired

Also that those in attendance are a minute ahead of the rest of us

Joe

Oh my goodness!

That was too close

l4blitzer

Nice coverage on that 3rd down…nice

vballretired

Where’s the flag?

Patrick

DON’T GIVE THEM IDEAS

vballretired

Here come the flags

Joe

Jeez well at least Ryans caught the mistake hahaha

vballretired

Nevermind a timeout

Joe

Here we go!

No whammies!

vballretired

Ok, here we go

l4blitzer

Alright…90 yards to super glory…or maybe about 60 to tie

Patrick

Fourth quarter comeback time. I hope.

vballretired

Of course there’s a flag

l4blitzer

Hey…did Cal figure out Venmo, cause we just got a beneficial flag

Joe

Wow, a call for the Texans?

Patrick

Nice wish.

Joe

Oh [DURGA]

Life flashing before my eyes

Patrick

Finally a call that went our way.

l4blitzer

CJ Stroud living right on that pass

vballretired

That was close

Joe

Let’s go Brevin Jordan!

NOOOO

vballretired

Ok

Joe

wrong Josh Allen!

Kenneth L.

[KITTEN]

l4blitzer

Two steps forward…one giant step back

Kenneth L.

One big step back

vballretired

[KITTEN]. I’m behind y’all

l4blitzer

Know that Houston was trying for a screen, but Josh Allen manhandled Tunsil

Patrick

Sigh…….

Now I hear vocal warmups.

Joe

Oh boy

NICO COLLINSSS

l4blitzer

Here’s a thought…with Indy winning today to go to 6-5, and how the rest of the season plays out, imagine that a HOU-IND finally results in a winner-take-all for a playoff spot?

Joe

FIRST DOWN

vballretired

Ok

Kenneth L.

Whoever drafted Juice Scruggs can go to [KITTEN]

vballretired

That’s a start

Ok

l4blitzer

Have to remember that you only need a FG

Super Red Toro is a nice touch though

Joe

Oh man

vballretired

Boy that sucks

Joe

Don’t hate on him yet! He’s good I promise

Patrick

Eeeep.

vballretired

Not today

Joe

Oh [DURGA]!!!

What in the world was that!

vballretired

Ok

l4blitzer

Commentators losing it over a horse-collar on Stroud

Joe

They’re gonna kick it???

Oh no!

vballretired

Geez

Kenneth L.

58 yards

Joe

Why not get more yards on 3rd???

Oh man

l4blitzer

Any one have insight on how he did in warmups

Joe

Idk about this

Patrick

Ammendola doesn’t have enough hair on his [KITTEN] to make that kick.

vballretired

[KITTEN]

Time to think about it

Joe

Oh my goodness

That’s terrible

Right off the cross bar

l4blitzer

Needed really one more yard

vballretired

Inches

Patrick

Hit the [KITTEN]ing crossbar.

Joe

That couldn’t have been any closer

l4blitzer

Welp…young teams are going to have that kinda loss. Still, never boring with this squad

FINAL: JACKSONVILLE 24 – HOUSTON 21. HOUSTON FALLS TO 6-5, OUT OF THE PLAYOFF POSITION. END OF 3 GAME WINNING STREAK AND STILL WINLESS AT HOME AGAINST DIVISIONAL RIVALS (0-2)

Joe

Poor Texans

I guess we were due for a kick not to go our way or something

vballretired

Yeah, that’s a tough way to lose

l4blitzer

In the stats, the refs should get the assists for 4 of those 3rd down conversions. However, the secondary and Oline are going to have a not-very-good-week in the film sessions

Joe

This is the kind of game I’m gonna load up on Madden and blow out the jaguars to get the steam off. The Texans clawed their way back into this game after a rough start against Trevor Lawrence, and they deserved to win it at the end here. Stroud might’ve been playing a little too valiantly at the end there, but can you blame him? Sometimes, things just don’t go your way, and Juice Scruggs did not have a good day. Josh Allen stopped Stroud this time around, but we will have our revenge in the playoffs!

GAME BALLS:

• QB CJ Stroud: On a day when the Jaguars’ defensive line was crushing both the Texans’ line in run and pass blocking, Stroud had to be the one-man gang, and for all intents and purposes, he was the offense. 26 of 36 for 304 yards and 2 TDs passing, 6 carries for 47 yards and 1 TD. He scored all of the team’s TDs and at least put the team in position to send the game into overtime. He can’t be the one-man gang all the time, but today, he was.
• WR Nico Collins: He really likes playing at home. Another 100 yard receiving game at home, getting 104 yards on 7 receptions and a 4th quarter TD. All of his receiving TDs have come at NRG, and over 70% of his receiving yards. Now, if he could do some of that on the road…

SHOULD BE FORCED TO WATCH THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS MASCOT MODEL NEW SPEEDOS FOR HIS GAMEDAY OUTFITS:

• OT Laremy Tunsil: Jacksonville’s Defense Line was perhaps the single most dominant force in the game. They held the Texans rushing attack to 91 yards, with CJ Stroud responsible for over half that on scrambles. In addition, the Texans pass protection, which had been a strength coming into this game, could not hold back a brutal Jacksonville pass rush. Josh Allen had himself a game with 2.5 sacks, with the biggest play coming on the final drive, where the Texans went from 1st and 10 from the JAX 37 to 2nd and 19 from the JAX 46. While that play was designed as a screen, Tunsil, one of the best pass blocking tackles in the game, got straight up manhandled by Allen. For an All-Pro caliber tackle like him, you can’t let that happen in that situation. While the line dealt with another injury (this time Tytus Howard), Tunsil just can’t get beat like that in a game like this.
• CB Tavierre Thomas: While you have to factor in the officiating in this game, Thomas had perhaps the worst game in his Houston career, if not his entire professional career. Trevor Lawrence made a point of going after him, especially as Thomas was matched up on Christian Kirk, who victimized him for a potential back-breaking 57 yard pass at the end of the 1st half that got Jacksonville down to the Houston 1-yard line. Only a horrid playcall spared Thomas a brutal halftime. The Jags second drive in the 3rd quarter was all about going after Thomas. While it was the refs that converted 3 of those 3rd down plays, Thomas was the primary target/victim. He is not going to have a very good week in film review.
• The Refs: You know it is bad when outside commentators, who have no routing interest in this game, are calling out the horridness of the referee calls against the Texans. The Illegal Shift penalty that negated the massive Stroud-to-Dell reception in the 1st quarter seemed super-dubious at best. 3 third down conversions by the refs flagging Texans’ defenders on pass plays, and a number of missed hits on Stroud are also factored in here. The Texans ended up with 7 penalties, but it seemed like so much more. Not that Jacksonville is thrilled, with 6 penalties of their own, and the Stingley INT coming on a play where the Kitties felt there was legit defensive holding. Nobody pays to see the refs. They are best left in the shadows. Don’t expect this crew to get a warm welcome if they dare to return to Houston.

All of that being said, the Texans are still in the thick of the playoff race. While outside the top 7, they should remain a major factor in determining the final 7 of the AFC. They will have to put this game behind them, as NRG will host another playoff-level tilt next week, this time with the Denver Broncos coming to down for a noon CST kickoff. CBS is bringing their #1 broadcast team to the game, so that does mean Romo, but that does mean a wider audience will get to see the Texans under the Stroud/Ryans regime. See you then.