Hair of the Dog Week 13: Denver Broncos @ Houston Texans
29 min read#NFLBeast #NFL #NFLTwitter #NFLUpdate #NFLNews #NFLBlogs
#Houston #Texans #HoustonTexans #AFC
By: l4blitzer
A matchup with massive playoff implications…just like we all predicted before the season started.
For the 8TH STRAIGHT CONTEST, a Houston Texans game came down to the final 2 minutes, with the margin being within one score. During this stretch, the Houston Texans have gone 4-3 in such contests. After holding on for the 22-17 win, they are now 5-3 in such contests. For awhile, it looked like Houston might have a comfortable win, jumping up 13-0 and 22-10 at various points in the game.
Yet, this is the 2023 Texans. All games henceforth shall come down to the final 2 minutes, with the margin of the score to be within one score. Likely the Texans shall hold the lead, but it is not a given. The opposing team, if trailing, will get the ball within the Texans’ 25 at a minimum, if not the Red Zone. If the team surrenders a FG, then it is game over. If it is holding the opponents out of the end zone, the odds are better. Just expect that for the rest of the year. Houston goes up by a 3+ score margin? The opponent is coming back to within one score. Houston down 20+, even in the 4th? Plan for the team to get within one score with under 2 minutes. It is all but NFL law.
Your Battle Red Blog Masthead had their expressive and passionate takes on this game that came down to a goal-line INT at the end. With all of that emotion, we probably used a lot of language that is not anywhere close to decorum. Hence, many of those words have been edited with [KITTEN]. All for classic work manners. With all of that, on to the ‘Dog:
HAIR OF THE DOG ISSUE 21, VOL 13: DENVER BRONCOS @ HOUSTON TEXANS (or where playoff fates are not based on the judgement of a bunch of people in corporate suits).
vballretired
Thankfully the Bstdad will not be in attendance here, but we can hear his chants, “you can’t beat Denver.” Denver has been a thorn in the side of Houston fans since the vaunted Stagger Lee play in Oilers infamy. Soak those painful memories away with #Bartesian. They have a nice and naughty collection for the holidays. Celebrate our ascension into the playoff hunt or drown your sorrows at our meek exit from them. Either way you are covered with #Bartesian. As we have become accustomed, we at Battle Red Blog and its parent company SBNation remind you to use #Bartesian responsibly. Please do not drive or operate heavy machinery while using #Bartesian. Keep your hand on that remote and enjoy the second game as well since the NFL was kind enough to flex us back to a noon start. It’s business as usual here in HTown.
Joe
hey, everyone!
Even though I was really rooting for the Texans to beat the Jaguars last week to simultaneously take a division lead and add some padding to our wildcard lead, I’m now desperate for a victory today. I’m worried about next week’s Jets and Christmas Eve’s Browns game because of their defenses, and losing any of these games could deal a serious blow to Houston’s playoff chances. Not only that, but Denver has really improved the past month, something I never would’ve expected after that Dolphins game when they gave up 70 points. They have the same record as Houston and, and even though they have a worse offense, they’ve recently defeated the Buffalo Bills and Kansas City Chiefs. They’ve been forcing so many turnovers that I’m really worried they could make this an ugly game, putting us in serious dire straits in these last few weeks. So, I was nervous about last week, but now that we lost, I’m REALLY nervous about this game.
The AFC just had to be a minimum 10-win season to make the playoffs, again
vballretired
Realistically this is a week to week thing. We are capable of beating anyone or losing to anyone. I’m almost in a zen like state of zero expectations positive or negative.
l4blitzer
We are playing with house money…it would just be nice for the budget to last until the playoffs
vballretired
Very true. This one could help decide the COTY race as well. This team plays an entertaining brand of football and usually all close games.
l4blitzer
Well, this team has been 1000x more entertaining than whatever we’ve seen the past 3 seasons. All the pressure comes next year, so make the most of the bonus session
vballretired
That also depends on FA. They will definitely spend but what do they spend on? Getting say a center or guard might be better but won’t generate the hype. Get a big named skill position guy and the expectations fly off the charts.
l4blitzer
There are many powerful forces in the world. SEC money is one of them…Bama in the playoff…oooo-kkkkkaaaaayyyyy.
Of course, the Rose Bowl of Michigan vs Alabama will be the game you want both teams to lose
vballretired
So I’m guessing wash, Michigan, Alabama, Florida st?
Patrick
If the Rose Bowl isn’t Washington/Michigan then the Rose Bowl ain’t the Rose Bowl.
l4blitzer
Michigan, Washington, Texas and Alabama (in that order)
FSU, 13-0, is ranked 5
vballretired
That actually makes some sense. Ballsy but I respect ballsy.
Patrick
I kind of wanted them to leave out Texas just to see the chaos that would ensue
l4blitzer
Well, FSU is at the point that they will hold winter tryouts for their QBs, but still, Bama and the arrogance of the SEC….and I say that as a fan of a SEC squad
Joe
I hate Alabama
vballretired
Honestly do you see FlaSt beating anyone in the top six or seven? I know TCU is out last year under these conditions but they did not want a repeat of 2014 when everyone on the planet knew that FLAST would get rolled in the title game but put them there because they were undefeated
l4blitzer
Darth Saban strikes again.
Joe
I would’ve rather seen Florida state in cuz I think Alabama proved against Auburn and south Florida and Texas this season that they’re very inconsistent
I think those 3 games should absolutely boot them from consideration
And sec was not that good of a conference this year
l4blitzer
I would think the Seminole D will keep it close, and they would get the extra practices to get the 2nd/3rd string QBs some more reps before the Bowl Game. Likely FSU would be 4, and given how the Harbaughs have been in the playoffs, I’d take my chances with FSU
l4blitzer
I will admit though, Bama’s Oline was looking real good against Georgia
vballretired
Oh I agree but again it’s the criteria. If you are asking me to pick the best four teams right now I can’t pick Florida St. if you are asking me to pick the top four resumes then I can’t pick Alabama.
Patrick
And this was always the problem with having a committee pick teams based on an unquantifiable rubric.
Joe
You’re right but like so did Georgia Tech’s a few weeks ago
Is it possible Georgia d-line was just sucking the past few weeks
Patrick
And have no consensus about what that rubric includes.
Joe
SEC routinely gets their [KITTEN] beat by ACC opponents too so I just straight up don’t trust SEC teams half the time
vballretired
All very true. It sucks that Florida St lost their QB but there is no way you can consider that the same team that went 12-0. It sucks that they took care of business and as someone whose school has been screwed before I would have asked the committee to buy me dinner first, but it makes sense from a particular point of view. It always does which is why expansion was inevitable
l4blitzer
Ah, guess I just wanted to see the SEC and Stankey lose their collective [KITTEN] over being shutout of the playoffs. The entertainment value…
Patrick
I’m still waiting to hear about all the other bowl matchups.
l4blitzer
NYC 6 should be out around 2:30 EST
vballretired
I’ll be in the Animal Kingdom that day.
Joe
Okay now it’s almost game time!!!
vballretired
My wife has already told me that I’ll lose my phone if I’m chatting while we are in Disney.
Patrick
I understand.
l4blitzer
Of course, to add to my Sunday football “get off my lawn” mood, I am in a part of the world where we don’t get the Texans national broadcast, but stuck in the Yinzer sphere of influence. Back to the Acme internet methods of normal.
Joe
Can’t believe how many linemen Houston has lost to season ending injuries this season. I think it’s 4 or 5 players now
vballretired
Almost like they want you to buy Sunday ticket. Geez it’s almost as if it’s coordinated or something.
Joe
Hahaha me too. But so far having the Steelers on tv has added for a really entertaining other game to watch, as an exercise in insanity
l4blitzer
I had hope, since the Ravens are off today, but nope…the power of the Yinzer cannot be undone
vballretired
The NFL has this whole tv thing figured out
Patrick
Oh [KITTEN].
I forgot this was going to happen to DirecTV
vballretired
I lose Fubo on December 12. My wife saw the monthly charge and freaked out.
Patrick
Yeah, I’m canceling it the second I leave Houston.
And we’re off.
vballretired
It being Fubo or DirecTV?
Patrick
Fubo.
vballretired
Yeah, it’s nice for sports but costly
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Run on first and second down
l4blitzer
…scramble on 3rd down
Patrick
Not a great start. Not their worst but definitely could be improved.
vballretired
I know there was some disagreement on the site about the importance of of the running game
Nice coverage there
Patrick
Phew, that was close.
Got a stop early. Nice.
vballretired
Yeah, that works
DEN POSSESSION
l4blitzer
Dueling 3 and outs
vballretired
Frank Ross is a witch
Patrick
But I was told Will Anderson was a bust, don’t even think about it.
HOU POSSESSION
l4blitzer
Frank Ross Special Teams strikes again
Patrick
Oh my that barbecue
[KITTEN] Jordan, you had a whole [KITTEN] lane to the end zone.
Joe
BREVIN JORDAN!!!
l4blitzer
Momentum…a tough thing at times
Joe
He gets like one pretty good reception a game haha
vballretired
Mr December
Joe
I like the Andrew Beck touches though
l4blitzer
As bad as Denver has been at guarding TEs, this is a game you would’ve really wanted Schultz
…and Denver with the bad flag. Let’s keep that going
Patrick
No joke. Fantasy stats alone said Schultz would’ve eaten today if he weren’t hurt.
Joe
This guys name is browning
Patrick
Go for it [KITTEN]
l4blitzer
Maybe play action on second down…oh well
vballretired
You can’t gain one kittening yard?
Joe
Almost an obj catch by Andrew Beck haha
Go for it!
Feed it to beckkkkkk
Patrick
Well at least Ammendola didn’t biff it there.
Joe
Remember when they cut Amendola for like 3 days
Patrick
Lesson clearly learned.
Joe
I guess that was their form of a punishment for missing that game winner
Patrick
I love the Amazon ad with the llamas.
Joe
3 days in the timeout
MATT AMMENDOLA WITH THE 29 YD FG: HOU 3 – DEN 0; 10:11, 1st
vballretired
Ok, clearly the run game has turned back into a pumpkin.
DEN POSSESSION
Patrick
Where is our tush push? Where is the Texans’ Booty-Scoot Boogie?
Joe
Javonte Williams former guy with Tar Heel
Joe
I would like to see a Texans version of the tush push
vballretired
And it’s THIRD DOWN
And it’s FoURTH DOWN
l4blitzer
A Will Anderson type of game…yes please
HOU POSSESSION
Joe
LETS GOOO
vballretired
I’ll take it
Patrick
I think I need an explanation for how these IHOP items are Wonka-related? Just because they’re purple?
vballretired
Nico Collins
Joe
NICO COLLINS!!!!
OH MY [DURGA]
Patrick
Pat Surtain II injured.
Joe
HE’S DAVANTE ADAMS
I like seeing the Pierce CHUMs but I also like scoring lol
That was fast haha
Patrick
[KITTEN], why. Why did we run that?
vballretired
Maybe the yards per carry running game is just not going to cut it
Yards plural is a bit of a misnomer
Joe
Alright there’s a good Pierce run
Patrick
Ugh.
Joe
UGH
that was so close to being another mvp play
Still kinda was
Patrick
DEFEND THE STROUD!!
vballretired
Maybe running on first and second down is a way to kill drives
Joe
DEFEND HIMMM
he’s getting spicy!!!!
Patrick
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Joe
Cj stroud is so famous
Patrick
PIERCE TD!!
Joe
Heavy dosage of nico Collins on this drive
LETS GOOOO
Patrick
Nonononono not Tank
vballretired
That’s his first of the year
Joe
Oh no!
Patrick
[KIIIITTTTTEEEENNNNN]
vballretired
[GATITO]
Joe
Oh no is he getting carted off the field?
This is awful
Patrick
According to Pancakes he is.
vballretired
If you had said that Pierce would have his first rushing TD in week 13 you’d know everything you need to know about our running game.
Joe
I hope he’s okay
At least Devin Singletary had like 2 or 3 good games
That made me so so happy
Patrick
DAMEON PIERCE RUSHING TD. TEXANS LEAD 10-0
He had a towel over his head. He’s missing some time.
BRONCOS POSSESSION
vballretired
That’s a good play design by the Broncos
Desmond King has entered the chat
Patrick
I’m so confused by the announcers saying nice things about the Texans.
vballretired
And it’s FOURTH DOWN
TEXANS POSSESSION
vballretired
There must be some sort of rule in Physics where our top four receivers can’t all be healthy at the same time
Patrick
The football [DURGA]s know the world isn’t ready for that yet.
vballretired
Ok, here comes Ammendola
13-0 TEXANS
l4blitzer
Officials missed a facemask…cool.
AMMENDOLA GOING 2 FOR 2: 38 YD FG: HOU 13 – DEN 0; 12:54, 2nd
vballretired
Maybe they need to do this yo-yo thing with kickers every week. You gotta earn your spot every week big guy
DEN POSSESSION
Joe
No problem!
l4blitzer
Although for Ammendola, it probably helps the percentages when you can make kicks a lot shorter than 50 yards
Joe
I hope tank dell is okay, he’s been essential for our passing offense. Hopefully Nico Collins, Noah Brown, Robert Woods, and maybe some more John Metchie will be able to compensate for losing him for the near future
l4blitzer
Stroud with 153 yards, and Collins with 114 of those…might be an effective combination.
Joe
I liked that infamous Matt Nagy open kicker competition he ran during the 2019 offseason. Everyone made fun of him but I think it ended up giving them Cairo Santos who’s been one of the leagues best kickers since
Joe
Yeah I’m really liking this
Collins is nearly at 1000 yards on the season now
l4blitzer
Gotta tackle Anderson
Stingley going to have to be on his game today.
Joe
Derek stingley might’ve gotten there a little early
WOOOO
big run stop on third down!
Sheldon Rankins making big plays the past month
Patrick
We need to talk about Dameon Pierce.
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Ok, settle in for the CHUM
Patrick
Brevin Jordan, today you become a man.
vballretired
Mr. December shows up every December
Joe
He’s a little spicy I gotta say
l4blitzer
Forward motion…this is a good thing
Joe
Don’t see a lot of #9 tight ends
l4blitzer
Hmmm….not a good play sequence there.
Patrick
The center got flagged for tripping.
l4blitzer
Meanwhile, the Steelers offense reverting to the Canada regime
Ah…see, Scruggs playing 10-degree chess to help Pierce up those rushing stats
Ok, that last run…not so much
vballretired
Ah the standard rush on first and second down and then punt
Granted it was first and long but still
l4blitzer
…and Frank Ross will kill another player after this one.
DEN POSSESSION
vballretired
Slowik is like a governor on a golf cart
l4blitzer
A very New Jersey Jets scoreline: 7-2 (NJJ with 2)
vballretired
Judge with the two run bomb in defeat
Patrick
Nice special teams play there.
l4blitzer
MOAR Punt practice
vballretired
We have excessive competence on the Texans. It’s kittening up the Vegas odds. That’s 15 yards.
For the love of Durga
Can we play football now?
l4blitzer
Hey, what do you know? Houston is not punting again
Patrick
Desmond King dragging Russell Wilson straight to [KITTEN].
And then they do that and I want to kill myself.
vballretired
Okay, name the dullest movie/tv show you can think of
Patrick
Lint Busters.
l4blitzer
Is Denver waking up a bit here?
vballretired
The officials have to sit strapped to a chair for 24 hours until they realize we don’t watch them throw flags
Watching whatever kitten show we can come up with
Maybe a Jets game or “Stop or my mom will shoot”
l4blitzer
Man…Wilson just got that out of there.
Patrick
But you repeat yourself
vballretired
He’s short
[KITTEN]
l4blitzer
This was the Wilson that bedeviled Houston in his past two visits to NRG
Patrick
That’s not nice talking about Wilson like that.
vballretired
I see what you did there
TWO MINUTE WARNING
l4blitzer
We need that patented “Beeeennnnnndddddd but don’tbreak” defense
vballretired
Or something
Where’s Joe with one of those psychic turnovers?
l4blitzer
RedZone with the picture of BO’B, with the score underneath it showing LAC 3 – NE 0, late in the 2nd quarter
vballretired
Would you rather have Hackett or BO’B as your OC?
Patrick
Is killing myself an option?
l4blitzer
The Jets with a 3 run RBI to cut the ATL deficit to 7-5
Joe
My stream blew up so my psychic powers have been dulled
Hahahaha
That made me actually laugh
I think I’m finally fixing my stream now
We’re back!
l4blitzer
Now the Broncos in the red zone
vballretired
Unfortunately it always is although a permanent solution to a [KITTEN]ty entertainment option
Patrick
Blech.
I guess BOB, even though I feel gross saying it.
vballretired
Like sitting through a Sylvester Stallone vs. Steven Seagall movie. It’s a waste of two hours but it’s only two hours
l4blitzer
Wonder if NE fires BO’B to rehire McDaniels after this season? Provided Darth Belichick is still there after the end of the regular season
vballretired
Nope and nope
l4blitzer
Pitre with a submarine shot on the TFL
Patrick
Talk about rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic though.
vballretired
That’s like the string quartet at the end of that movie
l4blitzer
Is it just me, or is the ref’s voice cracking….maybe some nice honey tea, after he immediately leaves the game
Patrick
Sooo close to getting him there.
l4blitzer
Thought they had the sack, but it will force the FG
Patrick
The Saints/Lions game just murdered an official.
vballretired
Field goal time
Anderson is playing one [KITTEN]uva a game
Patrick
But he’s a bust, just ask Twitter.
LUTZ WITH THE 34 YD FG: HOU 13 – DEN 3; 1:24, 2nd
vballretired
I can’t. I’m not on Twitter.
Patrick
Did we get the ball to start the game?
vballretired
Yes
l4blitzer
Didn’t think we would see so much action out of Desmond King, but so far, it is working
Patrick
Thought so, then we better get some points here.
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
That would be nice
l4blitzer
Let’s not go with the CHUM here Slowik, ok?
vballretired
Mothertrucker
Patrick
A screen that sorta worked.
Yep, still feels weird.
l4blitzer
Ponies just fumbled inside the BESF red zone
Joe
ugh
l4blitzer
Well, this season, the WR screens have been somewhat effective
vballretired
Oh [KITTEN] that was wide open
Joe
Metchie was there!
l4blitzer
So close…
Well, disappointing, but at least no turnover…
DEN POSSESSION
HALFTIME: HOU 13 – DEN 3
HALFTIME REACTIONS
Patrick
Could be better could be worse. Texans looking pretty good so far.
Joe
So far, this has been a great game for Houston. The Texans defensive line has been able to disrupt the line of scrimmage enough to trouble Denver’s rushing attack and get to Russel Wilson. Sheldon Rankins and Will Anderson Jr. are having good games. On offense, CJ Stroud and Nico Collins have showed up with something to prove, and I’m really worried about the Tank Dell injury. I’m interested to see how Noah Brown and John Metchie fill in for him, but he’s a big loss if this injury ends up being serious. Brevin Jordan and Dameon Pierce have been nice surprises, as well.
l4blitzer
Overall, good playing by Houston. The loss of Dell may linger large in this game. A few missed chances by Houston to really put Denver in a big hole (a short FG and a missed deep ball to Mitchie by Stroud). Can’t let Denver and Wilson hang around too long…they have been doing this all throughout their winning streak. Then again, Denver has made some dumb mistakes to put themselves in a 10-point hole. Won’t be shocked if this game comes down to the final two minutes, as is the modus operandi for this team since Week 5.
vballretired
Ok, at the half we have to be absolutely estatic with the defensive effort. Will Anderson is a man among boys. The offense has done some good things but this offense is like a golf cart with a governor. For those unfamiliar with the concept, it is essentially a device that controls the speed. Bend it and that cart will go 30 MPH (not that I have any direct knowledge or memory of actually doing this). The running game is this team’s governor. You run on first and second down and you punt. It’s just that simple. If you pass on one or both downs you usually get a first down. A golf cart without a governor can get harpooned in a bunker or lake if driven by a drunken jack[KITTEN], but Stroud is stone cold sober. Let’s bend that sucker and let this offense go full speed.
Patrick
Ole Miss/Penn St for Peach Bowl
l4blitzer
That’ll be an interesting matchup. Maybe Ole Miss will actually prep for this bowl game…going for PSU, but still…might be entertaining at least.
Patrick
Georgia/Florida St Orange Bowl
l4blitzer
In theory, a good matchup, but the GA(K) factor…hard to read that one.
vballretired
That’s interesting. It’ll be a blowout but interesting
Patrick
Mizzou/Ohio State Cotton
l4blitzer
…and ATL with a 3-run homer to go up 10-5 on the NJJ
vballretired
That’s four SEC schools on NY or playoffs
l4blitzer
Of course, watch the SEC claim the Longhorns if they actually win in the playoffs
That Washington/Texas match looks like it is going to be bonkers
Patrick
Go Huskies.
Aw [KITTEN]. [KITTEN]ing Liberty University made a NY6 Bowl. Them vs Oregon in the Fiesta Bowl.
l4blitzer
Looks like they are calling Dell officially out for the game
THIRD QUARTER
DEN POSSESSION
Patrick
Have a day WAJ!
l4blitzer
Is this his 1st multi-sack game?
vballretired
Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a two sack day
l4blitzer
3rd and long…
Joe
Hey I got the Texans game is on my tv now!
The Steelers game got a weather delay hahaha
vballretired
And it’s THIRD DOWN
l4blitzer
That was an impressive chase down by Greenard
vballretired
If one don’t get you the other one will
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Ok, no turtling allowed
Joe
Here we go cj stroud!!!
I’d like a nice long drive here
l4blitzer
Given that the Steelers are down 10-3 at the half, wouldn’t be surprised is Pittsburgh would just rather that delay lasts a long, long time
vballretired
Like until April when they can draft a new QB
Or maybe sign every failed first round QB on the open market
Joe
Two bad DPUMs
vballretired
[KITTEN]. Stop running the damn ball
l4blitzer
Well, Denver, in theory, is not a great run stopping team.
Joe
NICO COLLINS AGAIN!!!
vballretired
What did I say at the half?
l4blitzer
Wait…did Pierce screw up the 1st down run?
Patrick
They have the game on two screens which are half a minute apart.
vballretired
That explains it
Do not run the ball!!!!!!!
l4blitzer
While I am ecstatic about Collins, you would have thought that Denver would like try to shut down those deep plays to Collins
vballretired
Of course
l4blitzer
Illegal Formation: the official penalty of the Houston Texans
Not a terrible run on the next play
vballretired
So we are back to this [KITTEN] again
[KITTEN]
Thanks refs
Joe
I’ll take another field goal I guess
Glory to the all fg offense!
vballretired
Well we are in Ammendola range
AMMENDOLA WITH THE 38 YD FG: HOU 16 – DEN 3; 8:51, 3rd
Patrick
vballretired
Keep him under 40 yards
Joe
Hahaha
l4blitzer
Meanwhile, Miami taking the Commanders to the Gulag 38-7
vballretired
That’s awesome. My kind of art right there
Joe
If he gets a few more field goals he might be in afc special teams player of the week conversation
vballretired
But I thought Jack Del Rio was the problem in DC
Joe
I’m sad about this turn of events
l4blitzer
Well, that and trading away your two best pass rushers at the trade deadline
Joe
I was hoping Sam Howell and the commanders would just have a solid season overall this year
l4blitzer
A friend of mine at that game posted on social media that he might have yelled at Doug Williams to start warming up
Patrick
Chargers and Pats in a barn burner it’s 6-0 Chargers in the third.
vballretired
That whole staff is dead man walking on the green mile
Joe
What in the world happened to Justin Herbert
l4blitzer
Saints making it interesting against Detroit
vballretired
The Pats can play defense.
DEN POSSESSION
Patrick
Bad coaching I think more than anything.
l4blitzer
Do we want the BESFs to win? They still lead the Ponies 17-13
vballretired
Staley is like the Keith Richards of coaches. He’s already dead but just doesn’t know it.
l4blitzer
Keith Richards died back in 1982, but is well, well preserved.
vballretired
Heroin will do that
Joe
DESMON KING TOUCHDOWN?!?!?!
Patrick
SCOOP AND SCORE!!!
vballretired
Holy Durga!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe
BOOOOOO
BOOOO
THEY CALLED IT BACK
Patrick
He clearly had possession, it’s a fumble.
[DURGA][KITTEN]
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Come on. You owe us refs
l4blitzer
Man, what did the Texans do to the refs’ association? Did Cal say something about their mommas?
vballretired
Ok, at least it’s a punt
Joe
Oh that was so bad
Patrick
How badly do you have to piss off the refs where they start giving calls to Sean [KITTEN]ing Payton of all people.
l4blitzer
Did someone wearing Texans’ colors stand them up for their prom dates…please, tell us?
vballretired
It’s a gift to the gamblers. Payton has nothing to do with it
No turtling
l4blitzer
Wait, the refs should have made that a catch for Jordan as a make up call
Patrick
We can stop with the running now.
vballretired
And we are turtling
l4blitzer
Of course the officials would confer…and it would go against Houston
Joe
MAN that was so close to a fantastic catch by Brown
l4blitzer
Not really a catch, but still, expect that Houston will lose every ref conference from here on out
DEN POSSESSION
Joe
Yeah the refs are definitely not throwing us any bones hahaha
vballretired
When you have two officials disagree it should go to the booth
Joe
I like how we’re on in agreement with that with no conversation needed
l4blitzer
One official was going to call it a catch, but then the other was like “We need to talk…this is the Texans…incomplete”
Oh, to be mad about the refs…this is a feeling long forgotten until this season
Joe
Hahahaha
Joe
You’re right about that
Good team problems
vballretired
It should be 23-3
Patrick
Did the NFL hire all the soon-to-be out of work PAC12 refs or something? Because it would explain why they’re extra [KITTEN]ty lately.
l4blitzer
Oh gee…MOAR flags
…and on Houston…
Joe
Let’s see how they twist this onto Houston
are you serious
Eat my [KITTEN] refs
Patrick
Snort my [KITTEN], ref.
Joe
I don’t even care if it’s right
vballretired
It was
Joe
Nice tackle by Christian harris
l4blitzer
Refs held their fire on the flag for a play…a Christmas miracle
vballretired
Trying some measure of objectivity
l4blitzer
Rationality, in sports fandom…unpossible
vballretired
Me fail English?
Joe
NOOOO
l4blitzer
The one Bronco you don’t want to catch the ball…just did
Joe
there should be a flag for holding!!!
Patrick
And there is.
vballretired
I’m behind y’all
Patrick
Sigh…
vballretired
Gee that touchdown would have been nice
Patrick
OPI [KITTEN] he pushed off.
WILSON TO SUTTON FOR A 45 YD TD: DEN 10 – HOU 16; 4:47, 3rd
vballretired
No turtling
Joe
Oh man Sutton clearly pushed him!
l4blitzer
Don’t think that will be an issue now…have to open the game up…or at least in theory, Houston will need to do so.
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
No PFI either way
Kenneth L.
Sounds like a lot of broncos are there
vballretired
Just a good play by Wilson and Sutton
Patrick
There’s an unfortunate amount of orange out there.
l4blitzer
At least Stroud is being allowed to throw…3rd and short
vballretired
I’m a play behind
l4blitzer
Not for long. The game is about to revert back to the Yinzer market
Two bad drops by the H-town receivers
In this quarter
vballretired
Thank Durga they didn’t hand off on that one
Joe
Oh boy
Now I’m nervous
l4blitzer
And that drop really hurts
vballretired
That’s terrible
[KITTEN]
l4blitzer
Oh, the refs allowed a timeout. Would’ve thought they would go with the false start call
Patrick
Ughhhhhhh
l4blitzer
Ouch…who would have thought that the Brown drop would be that painful, but man did the O-line fail in those two plays
DEN POSSESSION
Patrick
STINGLEY!!!!!!
vballretired
They’re are turtling. It’s like some cosmic force that allows no blowouts
Joe
OH MY GOODNESS
l4blitzer
Are you sure??? Have the refs thrown a flag??? No DPI? No Offisdes?
Joe
STINGLEY!!!
Patrick
Sure as [KITTEN]
APPARENTLY, AN ACTUAL TURNOVER: STINGLEY WITH THE INT; HOU POSSESSION
l4blitzer
I would be ticked about the run call, but given how bad the pass blocking was…
vballretired
Stop running the ball please. I beg you. Please stop.
Patrick
Wow that pass
vballretired
How do he get that there?
l4blitzer
Jordan makes up for the earlier drop
END OF THE 3RD: HOU 16 – DEN 10…BUT THE FIRM OF STROUD/RYANS IS INSIDE THE DEN 10
vballretired
No turtling
Joe
No turtling!!!
This is a golden opportunity
Which actually our defense has been getting more and more of this clutch turnovers
l4blitzer
Is Detroit about to blow it in NOLA?
Joe
Once the Texans can start scoring touchdowns of these turnovers, we’re perfect
vballretired
Stingley at least statistically justifying the draft slot now
l4blitzer
Decent run by Pierce
Joe
Good run by Pierce!
vballretired
Solid
Patrick
Nico to the house!
Joe
WOOOOOO
LETS GOOOO
huge touchdown
Nico having a career game
vballretired
That’s his 20th TD right? For Stroud?
Go for two
Joe
Well you can’t win them all haha
STROUD TO COLLINS FOR THE 3 YD TD: HOU 22 – DEN 10 (2 PT ATTEMPT FAILED); 14:16, 4th
l4blitzer
Stroud needs to work on those 2 pt INTs…got two of those these season. They don’t count as INTs, but still…we have (recently elevated) standards
vballretired
Second INT on a two point conversion attempt. Thank Durga those don’t count
Patrick
Honestly if the only picks he throws are on two point plays I’ll be over the moon.
vballretired
Beat me to it
l4blitzer
BESFs with a 2 pt return on an INT…so see, you have to cover those boys and girls
Patrick
CORGI RACES!!!
vballretired
Boy that fumble TD would have put this game on ice
Patrick
I missed the [KITTEN]ing corgi races!
l4blitzer
Will they be on YouTube?
Joe
Wait there we corgi races????
DEN POSSESSION
Joe
I WANNA SEE THEM TOOO
l4blitzer
And the Cards with a fumble recovery
Patrick
Sigh…
l4blitzer
Shocked…shocked that the Texans got another flag…
At least they aren’t of the pre-snap variety. They were doing that way too much earlier in the season
vballretired
Them explaining why we are getting jobbed
l4blitzer
Need to force some 2nd and 3rd and longs here
Patrick
[DURGA] [KITTEN]ing [KITTEN] someone tackle him for [KITTEN]’s sake.
Joe
Oh no!!!!!
l4blitzer
That was not what we asked for Houston…
vballretired
We can’t breathe easy. Ever.
WILSON WITH THE 1 YD TD RUN: DEN 17 – HOU 22; 12:04, 4th
vballretired
No turtling
l4blitzer
Falcons/Jets still playing a baseball-esque 13-8 score
HOU POSSESSION
Patrick
It is still 6-0 Chargers over the Pats and they’ve almost gotten to the two minute warning.
l4blitzer
Who’s pitching for LA in that matchup?
vballretired
Not Kershaw
Patrick
They haven’t given up runs so it’s not Kershaw.
l4blitzer
And it is not the playoffs, so there is that.
Patrick
[KITTEN] you beat me to it.
That was offsides.
l4blitzer
Nice to get a score on this drive, but no dumb plays and at least a few 1st downs
Joe
Okay Texans game is back on in Pittsburgh area again haha
Steelers game got delayed again
l4blitzer
So much for that 1st down or two
DEN POSSESSION
Patrick
STINGLEY AGAIN!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOW
Joe
OH MY [DURGA] DEREK STINGLEY JR
AMAZING INTERCEPTION
what a catch!
vballretired
Holy kittens
STINGLEY WITH THE MASSIVE INT AND THERE ARE NO FLAGS ON THE PLAY; HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Stop. Running. The. Ball.
l4blitzer
12 yards rushing in the 2nd half. We don’t’ have good run blocking at all.
Joe
Oh man
Only one timeout left now
Patrick
Uh oh
l4blitzer
…and Denver is not a great team stopping the run
Joe
Here comes the butt push!
LETS GOOO
right up the [KITTEN]!
He took it from Beck too
Oh and the refs are taking him off the field for that!
They’re like “you’re playing too good now”
Patrick
Oh [DURGA]
l4blitzer
Mills time…joy
Joe
Get some Davis mills snaps here
alright
MILL COMEBACK
and here comes cj stroud haha
Patrick
Thank Durga
l4blitzer
Lions can’t shake the Saints
Joe
I think Nico Collins might break 1000 this game lol
Wasn’t expecting that today!
l4blitzer
Denver playing the bold strategy of letting Collins make the big plays. Not asking them to stop, just observing
Joe
Oh [DURGA]
What’s going on????
JUST GET A FIELD GOAL
vballretired
Stop. Running. The. Ball.
Patrick
The [KITTEN] was that?
l4blitzer
At some point, the offensive line will have a consistent series in this second half…maybe
vballretired
Bobby Slowik deciding we don’t need no stinkin first downs
Joe
Man I wanted some points here
Always a cardiac game with the Texans
vballretired
You took us out of it by running the [KITTEN]ing ball
DEN POSSESSION
Joe
OH NOOOO!!!
Patrick
Guuuuh…
l4blitzer
Ya know, we don’t need to repeat Denver’s strategy with Collins for Sutton
vballretired
This one is on the zebras and Bobby Slowik
Joe
Third down!!!!
Please don’t be a repeat of last week I’ll cry
COME ON ANDERSON
CONE ONNN
BOOOOO
Patrick
[KITTEN] these refs.
vballretired
I guess
l4blitzer
The patented ref 3rd down conversion. Seems like it was warranted, but still
Patrick
I don’t want them to die but I would not be sad if they had chronic infected testicle syndrome or something.
vballretired
Dysentery
Joe
Oh man my heart
l4blitzer
Stop me if you’ve heard this before, a Houston game within one-score at the two minute mark
Joe
Oh my [DURGA]
TWO MINUTE WARNING
Joe
Oh you have to be kidding me
4th and one
Patrick
Fractured fibula for Tank Dell.
He’s going to IR
vballretired
[KITTEN]
[KITTEN]
[KITTEN]
Joe
NOOOO
oh no!
Terrible
Okay here we go
They can win for him now
Patrick
[KITTEN].
Joe
NOOOO
okay turnovers now
Fourth down again
Patrick
One more, c’mon.
Joe
Oh my [DURGA]
My heart!!!! Is gonna split!!!
DEN 2nd TO
Patrick
I’m gonna be ill.
Joe
Oh my goodness now Houston is using their TO
HOU TO
Joe
Me too
Okay here we go!
Oh my [DURGA]
AAAAAA
CURSE YOU RUSSELL WILSON
Patrick
I hate this game so much.
Joe
Oh my [DURGA] I hate this
l4blitzer
Can’t say I am shocked. We don’t have the guy to clog the lane on these short yardage plays
Joe
My legs are shaking!!! Someone make it stop!!!
Derek stingley save meeeee
AAAAAAAA
AAAAAA
Patrick
JIMMIE WARD!!!
Joe
OH MY [DURGA]
TEXANS WITH THEIR 3RD INT OF THE GAME (JIMMIE WARD); HOU POSSESSION
Joe
JIMMIE WARD SAVES THE DAY!!!
Texans win!!! Texans win!!!
FINAL: HOU 22 – DEN 17; TEXANS MOVE TO 7-5 AND LOG THEIR FIRST WIN OVER RUSSELL WILSON
l4blitzer
I really hope none of y’all have serious cardiac conditions as we watch all of these games this season
Joe
That was absolutely incredible!!! That was an insane defensive effort, and all 3 of those turnovers couldn’t have come at a better time. Derek Stingley Jr and Jimmie Ward have now single handedly launched the Texans into playoff contention!
vballretired
They sure as [KITTEN] didn’t make it easy.
Patrick
They never do.
GAME BALLS
- WR Nico Collins: Aside from Tyreek Hill, I can’t think of a WR who has been so strong at home. 9 catches for 191 yards and 1 TD. Nico was lighting up the Denver secondary in the first and second half. How he kept doing that in the second half is beyond me, but then again, this is a Denver defense that surrendered 70 points in game. They played well, especially in the 2nd and 4th quarters, but Nico at NRG is neigh unstoppable.
- CB Derek Stingley Jr.: In the past 3 games, Stingley has logged 4 INTs. He got 2 today. His second INT in the 4th quarter might have been the game saver. Pitre was beaten badly on a seam route by Denver WR Sutton, but Stingley closed in, played the ball perfectly and had arguably the best looking catch of any player in this game. If Stingley mis-times it, that is a Denver TD and perhaps, a Houston defeat.
- DE Will Anderson Jr.: Two sacks, along with 5 tackles, 2 TFLs, 4 QB hits and 1 pass defended. He and the Most Interesting Defense in the World made the day rather uncomfortable for Russell Wilson. The defense, which has been susceptible to giving up a lot of yards via the air, the defense more or less contained the Denver passing attack, holding them to 164 yards through the air, forcing 3 sacks and 3 INTs.
SHOULD BE FORCED TO WATCH KEVIN JAMES’ IMPRESSION OF SEAN PAYTON ON REPEAT FOR A FULL WEEK WHILE EATING RAW ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS:
- The Texans 2nd Half Rushing Attack: While the strength of the team is the passing game, there has to be some semblance of a running game, at least to keep the opponents honest. In the 1st half, the team rushed for 77 yards. A nice number, especially against a team seen as weak against the run (Denver averaged 152 rushing yards allowed/game). In the 2nd half, Houston logged all of 12 yards rushing. Denver’s defense front proved especially problematic for Houston, and the offensive line will have some tough moments in the film session. Still, the run blocking is somewhere between horrid and really suck. Pierce is not have a great sophomore season, but this line and run blocking is really, really not good.
- Ref-Ball Part Deux: The Texans have come far enough in their evolution that ref calls are actually making a difference. Some of the penalty calls were warranted. HOWEVER, missed targeting calls against Denver and that inexplicable call in the 3rd quarter, when King was outright robbed of a fumble recovery for a TD will give many in Houston a complex that the refs are out to get the Texans. The team logged 8 penalties for 81 yards vs. Denver’s 2 for 8 yards. Yeah, the refs might get more boos than opposing teams from here on out.
With that, the Texans move to 7-5. They are still in 8th position, but hold tiebreakers over the Steelers and have games against Cleveland and Indy left this season. They have matched the win total from the past two seasons combined. They get a chance to add to it next Sunday, when they make the trek to the Meadowlands to play the New Jersey Jets. Kickoff slated for noon CST.
Originally posted on Battle Red Blog – All Posts