Have a BAD Week: A look back at the Steelers week that was from a black-and-gold mind

BTSC’s random thought renegade is back with his bizarre look at the Steelers week that was.

BTSC continues their recap of the past week’s events for our readers. But where they went wrong was asking the one narcissistic writer that would put a bizarre spin on it to do it. So let’s all take a look at a BAD week in the Burgh together.

Monday 7/12

• Ryan Burr reported sources that said that Ben Roethlisberger’s conditioning is the best of his career and that he is driven more than ever since the season ended. Burr also stated that from an arm standpoint, Ben is more likely to win his first league MVP than finish outside top 10 in passing. Sources from BTSC say that I am in the best writing shape of my career and that I’m more likely to win a… oh forget it. Even I can’t write a fib that outrageous.
• Pro Football Reference, after decades of research, updated their site to add sack data all the way back to 1960, 22 years before it became an officially recorded statistic. I’ve been citing official and unofficial sack lists on BTSC for years, so this is great. So add LC Greenwood (78), Joe Greene (77.5), Dwight White (55), Ernie Holmes (39.5), Andy Russell (38), Jack Ham (25.5) and Jack Lambert (23.5) to the Steelers all-time list led by James Harrison (80.5). I’m inspired now and will do extensive research to update my list of 2 AM conquests over the years.
• That was quick, it’s still a very short list.

Tuesday 7/13

• Cassius Marsh was quoted as saying that his time with the New England Patriots was awful and that the team “treats players like crap”. It was cited that the Pats players were barely given time to eat at practices. Marsh stopped short of comparing Bill Belichick to Miss Hannigan in Annie. That’s too bad. I was hoping to hear the Pokemon King bust into “Hard Knock Life”.

Wednesday 7/14

• Roosevelt Nix announced his retirement from the NFL. Nix, who went by Nix-Jones when he first debuted in the league and was cut on HBO’s Hard Knocks, was a class act and a hard-nosed Steeler. Best wishes, Rosie. Let’s meet up at Arby’s to celebrate your career. Big Beef and Cheddars on me. You may have to spring for the curly fries though. I’m a little short this week.

Thursday 7/15

• It was reported that Dwayne Haskins, who got married over the weekend, was assaulted by said woman just two weeks before in Vegas. There’s no truth to the report that Le’Veon Bell entered into a “Sister Wives” polygamy-styled union with the hookers that robbed him while he was nude.

Friday 7/16

• It was announced that the Steelers’ training camp will open July 22 at the UPMC Rooney Sports Complex on the South Side. Let the annual yinzer pessimism games begin.
• BTSC’s Michael Beck asked the question on Twitter if Robert Spillane could become the next great Steelers inside linebacker. Apparently Vince Williams noticed and replied, “100% know for a fact he can”. How awesome is that? I’ve never had anyone famous reply to any of my written wisdom on social media. Not even Tom Arnold, who replied to a Tony Defeo tweet a few months back. Tom “Freaking” Arnold!!! I can’t even get Sapphire from the Beehive to message me back. I feel so unloved.

Saturday 7/17

• I just finished binge-watching Ted Lasso on Apple TV Plus. It’s tremendous and I’m pumped that Season Two comes out next Friday. It’s the story of a championship NCAA D2 coach jumping the pond to coach soccer. Could you imagine Mike Tomlin “Unleashing Hell” in Liverpool?

This was the significant week that was for the Steelers, mixed-in with my black-and-gold loving life. I’m sure next week will be full of Steelers happenings as well, so we’ll have to do this again. Have a great week, but better yet have a BAD one.