Ravens are Giving Out “Rally Towels” Sunday – Don’t Wave Them!

Today the Ravens revealed the pomp and circumstance of the AFC Championship. The offense will be introduced. A damn B-2 bomber will do the flyover! The legends of the game? None other than Ray Lewis and Ed Reed. Anquan Boldin, Terrell Suggs, Jonthan Ogden, and Michael Phelps will all be in the house.

Perfection.

But then, we get to the giveaway.

.@TPAIN, @MichaelPhelps, @raylewis, @TwentyER AND @jonathanogden75 ?????

Get to your seats by 2:30 pic.twitter.com/aCRzlB1mqU

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) January 24, 2024

Towels.

What are we, Steelers fans?

Listen, I know that towels are an easy thing to give away. I have a bunch from both Ravens and Orioles playoff games over the years. They look cool hanging in the man cave after the fact. But they’re an uninspired choice here, before the biggest game in M&T Bank Stadium history, the stadium’s first AFC Championship Game.

And I’m going to tell you why.

Do towels waving create a nice visual on television? Sure, and, back to the rag-wavers who cheer for the team in western Pennsylvania, they make it clear just how many of them are there when the Steelers are the visitors.

Now, is that really what we want to look like? A bunch of wannabe towel twirlers who wanna hang a banner for another “non-losing” season? No thank you.

Here’s the thing about towels: THEY ARE SILENT!

Put towels in the hands of Johnny Ravens Fan, and he will certainly think, “I should wave this thing wildly to show my support!”

That’s exactly what Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs offense WANT YOU TO DO!

A hand that’s waving a towel can’t clap. It can’t beat the seat in front of it mercilessly (if you leave this game and your fingers don’t hurt for days along with your voice being gone, you ain’t doing it right!)

All a towel does is twirl.

Last week, the team gave out flags. Some folks complained about those, because they’re unwieldy to wave, and mostly remained hidden under seats as opposed to being used to constantly annoy the fans immediately surrounding said waver. But that was the beauty of the flags: as soon as someone tried to wave it, it became clear what a bad idea that was!

Towels though? Ugh. Everyone will want to wave those.

Couldn’t the Ravens have given out something else? Anything else? Ponchos might have been useful! Maybe a scarf. 70,000 tiny little plastic purple megaphones (probably not legal…)?

I implore you, Ravens Flock: take the towel they give you, use it to dry your seat (which will likely be wet), then tuck it away until you leave the game, hopefully after having watched the Ravens secure the Lamar Hunt Trophy. Do not wave it! And, in the nicest way possible, explain to any fans sitting around you that they should follow suit!

Clap your hands. Pound on the seats in front of you. Cup your fingers and palms to make your own hand-megaphone. Everything to be as LOUD as possible when the Chiefs have the ball.

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