Week Two Game Preview Volume II: Defending Cincy’s Big Three, Saluting Norm, Bears Fall to 0-2?

Why Do I Like the Chicago Bears This Week?

I always like the Chicago Bears.

And this is a game, at least one on paper, the Bears are expected to win. Do I expect them to win? Stay tuned.

Chase, Higgins, Boyd.

That’s the game.

The Bears should be able to move the football against the Bengals, especially at home. (They were able to comfortably move the ball for much of the game in Los Angeles, against a far superior unit.) But moving the football is only as valuable as the points generated and the Bears, especially with Dalton at quarterback, lack explosiveness in the red zone.

The Bengals have one of the more explosive collections of pass catchers in the game. Ja’Marr Chase is going to be a top receiver in the league sooner than later. Tee Higgins is built like a tight end but runs like a wideout. Tyler Boyd is the sort of crafty inside guy that will give the Bears fits all year. Sure, the Bears are three-point favorites but the Bengals seem like a matchup nightmare for this Bears secondary.

Norm, the great.

I was on a golf course when Reverend Dave called me. I didn’t answer. People don’t call me, so I figured, “This is either Justin Fields is now the starter or something bad.” A few moments later I got a text from another friend. “Gutted” was all it read, and this is not a person known for their emotional responses to anything. A few moments later a text thread began between my two oldest friends – two guys I have known since I’m four years old. The thread began with a clip montage of Norm Macdonald on Conan.

And I knew.

I don’t want to talk about why Norm was one of the funniest people to ever set foot on this earth, or what he meant to me. I feel like Norm, of all people, would fucking hate that. So I’ll just share some of my favorite Norm stuff.

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Norm Macdonald Live.

The silliest, craziest talk show ever produced.

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Norm at the ESPYs (1998)

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Norm with Conan.

Norm MacDonald’s moth joke is maybe the funniest five minutes of television ever: https://t.co/tXXuzoq6FK

— Adam Steinbaugh (@adamsteinbaugh) September 14, 2021

Man what a legend Norm Macdonald was.

His legendary appearance on Conan where he roasts Courtney Thorne Smith for doing a movie with Carrot Top was legendary. pic.twitter.com/Gi2NP2gQky

— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) September 14, 2021

Stats of the Week

• Yes, it’s only one week. But the league’s leading rushers after that week are Joe Mixon (127) and David Montgomery (108).
• Khalil Herbert’s kick return career is off to a flying start. With 4 kickoff returns in the opener, Herbert averaged 26.5 yards per. If Herbert continues to generate returns at that clip, he’ll get carte blanche to take the ball out of the end zone all season long.
• Joe Burrow was sacked five times in the opener. This is the kind of week where Khalil Mack should be a force. He should bring Burrow down multiple times. If he doesn’t, it is time to ask why not.

Bold Bears Prediction

Last week’s prediction: Kmet to go for 8-89-1. His numbers were 5-42-0. The targets were there. The production was not.

Allen Robinson was targeted 11 times Sunday night. Darnell Mooney and Cole Kmet were each targeted 7 times. Mooney is the top target this week.

Game Prediction

Minnesota’s offense is objectively better than Chicago’s and the Vikings did not crack the thirty-point threshold against the Bengals. So it would be difficult to project the Bears to eclipse that mark.

Three things I know will happen at Soldier Field Sunday.

(1) BJ Hill will take his talents to the right side of the defensive line and get to Dalton at least twice.

(2) One of the three Bengals wide receivers will have a gaudy stat line. Double-digit catches. Triple-digit yards. Multiple touchdowns.

(3) The fans will boo Dalton. They don’t want to see the Bears play offense just as they have for decades. They want excitement. They want flash. And both of those things are sitting on the bench.

Cincinnati Bengals 24, Chicago Bears 20